Joseph Beth's Bronte Bistro

Today was a rainy Sunday in Cincinnati, my husband had to work all day so I was stuck with entertaining two very small children. My thought was to go play with Thomas the Train at Joseph-Beth Bookstore, followed by brunch at their café. I had never had brunch there, only lunch and dinner, and it's usually pretty good. Perfect plan, I thought...perfect plan!

So out we went, under the rain, on our adventure. After about an hour of Thomas antics (my limit) we headed for the bistro...there was a wait. Ask any parent, being told there is a "15 - 30 minute wait" at any restaurant when you are stuck with a 2 and 3 year old is like being told "and our waiting room is in the bowels of hell, right this way...". But it took 20 minutes and we perservered (after a million "do you want to go home?" threats made by yours truly)...

The hostess, by the way, was delightful and tried to help me entertain the wee-ones.

We got to our table and I could feel the eyes of my fellow brunchers upon us..."Oh GREAT, KIDS!" I know that's what they were thinking. Oh well...One must eat.

Our waitress arrived. You know that feeling when your waitress arrives and you are CERTAIN she hates your very existence and that of your offspring? That's the kind of waitress we got. Greeeaaat. I should have made the same threat to her as I did my kids: "Do you want to go home?" But that would have gotten spit in my coffee, so I refrained.

So I took a look at their brunch menu. This café is known for serving from the store's cookbooks, so you got to see the inspriation for various menu items. They had all sorts of things on the menu: omelets, scrambled eggs, creme brulée french toast, fritattas, you name it. It all looked good, but I settled on the scrambled eggs, which came with Paula Dean home fries (read: fat fat fat fries), bacon, toast and a fruit cup.

When "Debbie Downer" the waitress came back, I asked her for two chocolate milks for the kids, a cup of coffee for me, and a pumpkin muffin, pronto! I wasn't demanding, but I needed something to entertain the "petits monstres" until our meals were ready. I think she rolled her eyes and off she went to pour a couple chocolate milks.

She returned with a blueberry muffin. Although I had ordered pumpkin, I made zero fuss. First of all because she scared the hoo-ha out of me, and secondly because I just needed food to entertain these babies of mine. I think this is what is behind the obesity epidemic in America...moms shoving food at their children so they won't make a fuss in restaurants. Debbie took my order, and I ordered the scrambled eggs, a grilled cheese and silver dollar pancakes for the kids.

My cup of coffee began running low. I figured someone would be by to magically fill it up again...It never happened.

We got our meals. Immediately I was confused. My scrambled eggs were not scrambled. Are scrambled eggs supposed to be a mass of egg with cheddar cheese melted on top? Isn't that an omelet, or some version of an omelet? I saw no evidence of scrambling going on in this egg. But no way was I going to say anything to dear old Debbie, an egg is an egg. But to make matters worse, they had no taste. That was a downer. First it's Debbie Downer and now Scrambled Egg Downer. The fruit was rather tasteless, and the bacon wasn't great either. It wasn't fatty, which was good, but it didn't have much going on. Kind of like eating a greasy salt lick. I would suggest they invest in some Applewood bacon, that stuff is the pork product of the Gods. Love it.

I had been nursing my coffee, which was now 7/8 gone. My waitress looked so pissy..at everyone. I tried to flag her a couple of times to get more coffee, but she flew right by me every time. I swear, she hated my existence. Some elderly woman next to me had a question about her bill and WOAH boy I had to divert my eyes...it was like watching Medusa herself in the process of turning human flesh to stone. This gal was either having a bad day or a bad life, I wasn't sure which. So I didn't ask for more coffee, I just wanted out.

I ate 1/2 the eggs, one piece of enormously dry and cold toast, a few pieces of tasteless melon and bacon and some YUMMY home fries. Leave it to Paula Dean to put cream cheese in her breakfast potatoes, but that works. It was the best part of my meal. You can't really go wrong with home fries and cream cheese.

Near the end of the meal, I glanced over at my 2 year old son. He was covered in syrup. Uh-oh, I was going to need help from dear old Deb. When she came back to the table, I nicely asked her for a glass of water (shouldn't I have had a glass of water already?) so I could douse my son and she absolutely glared at me and just nodded yes. No words. No facial expression (maybe she had just had Botox injections??) I couldn't believe it as she walked away to satisfy my incredibly demanding needs.

Needless to say, Deb got much less than my usual 20% tip.

I go to Bronte Bistro often, since I go to Joseph-Beth Bookstore often. For lunch it is pretty good, they have great salads. But this brunch, with its solid scrambled eggs, dry and cold toast, non-refilled coffee, bland bacon and tasteless fruit, I have to give it a C-.

First Watch is right down the street from here, they have the best brunch in town. I should never have strayed.....

YUMMEEE Spice Cake with Blackberry Filling

This cake was truly a labor of love. All of my girlfriends get together during the year to celebrate each others' birthdays, and we rotate being hostess with the mostess. I was lucky enough to be the hostess for my very dear friend Rhonda. She's the kind of friend who really notices the efforts, the details, the deliciousness of my (or anyone's) cooking. It's always so fun to bake for someone who appreciates it. So I couldn't wait to get cracking.

She was married one year ago, and her wedding cake was a spice cake with blackberries. Lo and behold, I found it in July 2001 Bon Appetit. I think this is much more of a fall dessert than a summer dessert, but there it was, smack dab in the middle of the summer's issues of BA.

I made the cake lovingly, decorated it to the best of my abilities (must take a course in this) and presented it to my friends. Rhonda was beside herself with joy. She said "This is better than my wedding cake"...which I doubt, but it was a wonderful compliment. It was moist, had the perfect amount of spices, and the cream cheese frosting recipe is a keeper. Needless to say, we all got up from our birthday cake extravaganza groaning. But a good groan.

The cake itself is really easy. You just need a springform pan. Oh, and I cheated on the filling. Instead of buying 1/2 pint baskets of blackberries (at $4 a pop!) I used a really good quality blackberry jam. It worked just fine.

Spice Cake:
2 cups cake flour
2 tsp. ground cinnamon
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. ground allspice
1/4 tsp. ground ginger
1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter at room temperature
1 1/2 cups packed golden brown sugar
3 large eggs, separated
1 cup sour cream

For filling:
3 1/2 pint baskets blackberries
1/4 cup sugar
(But I used 1 1/2 cups blackberry jam)

For frosting:
1 1/2 8 oz. packages cream cheese, room temp.
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temp.
5 cups powdered sugar
2 Tb sour cream
1 tsp vanilla extract

Topping:
1 1/2 pint basket blackberries

Preaheat oven to 350 F. Butter and flour 9 inch diameter springform pan with 2 3/4 inch high sides. Sift first 7 ingredients into a small bowl. Using the electric mixer, beat butter in large bowl until fluffy. Ad brown sugar and beat until well blended (about 3 minutes). Beat in egg yolks. Beat in flour mixture in 3 additions, alternately with the sour cream in 2 additions. Using clean and dry beaters, beat the egg whites in a medium bowl until stiff but not dry, fold inot the batter in 2 additions. Transfer the batter to a prepared pan.

Bake the cake until the top is golden and tester comes out clean, about 45 minutes. Cool cake 10 minutes, cut around pan sides and release. Cool cake completely on rack.

For Filling:
Mix berries and sugar in bowl and mash with a fork. Let stand 20 minutes - 1 hour
OR: like I said, a good blackberry jam works just as well.

Frosting:
Beat cream cheese and butter in a large bowl until fluffy. Beat in sugar, then sour cream and vanilla. Beat with paddle attachment to get rid of

any air and make smooth as batter.

Cut cake horizontally into 3 equal layers. Place bottom layer, cut side up, on platter. Spread 1 cup frosting over. Spread half of filling (about 3/4 cup) over frosting, leaving 1/4 inch plain border at edge. Top with second cake layer and 1 cup frosting, then remaining filling. Top with third cake layer, cut side down. Spread remaining frosting over top and sides of cake. Refrigerate until frosting sets, about 1 hour. (Can be made 1 day ahead, cover loosely, keep chilled until 1 hour before serving.) Garnish cake with 1/2 pint berries.

Cinnamon Macarons

The best thing about making homemade ice cream is that you have a bunch of egg whites left over and you can experiment with macarons. Macarons need a lot of experimentation and practice to get them right. I still find that no two batches are alike, but I'm still working on it! To date, my most successful ones have been chocolate which almost never fail. But these turned out pretty good if I do say so myself.

To make these, I made a basic macaron batter and mixed in two teaspoons of ground cinnamon. I had no clue if that would be enough for a good flavor, and it turns out I was on target. They taste really good...

Of course, my macarons were not perfect. The first batch had HUGE feet. Way to big. They ooked like little hats with enormous rims. The second batch turned out just right...smooth dome, frilly feet, perfect consistency inside.

I filled them with a swiss buttercream. I made a basic vanilla swiss buttercream and added a bit of pumpkin pie filling to it. The end result is a cinnamon/pumpkin extravaganza of a macaron! Perfect for the fall!

Basic macaron recipe:
1 1/4 cups powdered sugar
1 cup almond flour
2 tsp. cinnamon
3 egg whites, room temperature (I let my eggs sit out overnight)
1/4 cup granulated sugar


Pulse first three ingredients in a food processor, set aside.

Beat the egg whites in a stand mixer until foamy. Add granulated sugar and beat until you get stiff peaks.

With a rubber spatula, blend the powdered sugar mixture and the egg white mixture. Mix until a peak in the batter disappears within a few seconds. It should "flow like magma" so they say.

Pipe onto parchment (or silpat) in 1.5 inch rounds. Bake for 12 - 15 minutes (depending on the heat of your oven, my oven cooks hot so I do 12 minutes).

Let cool on silpat, and then peel cooled macarons off.

Spread buttercream on bottom of one macaron and top with another. Store in a air-tight container at room temperature for 3 - 5 days.

Restaurant Review: Seny Tapas Bar

Ok, I know a lot of you who are reading this are not from Cincinnati. But I also know that many of you have had the experience of being so excited about eating at a new restaurant, only to be disappointed in the end. Such was my experience at Seny, a new Spanish tapas bar/restaurant in Cincinnati.

Call me a tapas snob, if you will. But I love love LOVE real Spanish tapas. I lived in Madrid as a college student, and was introduced to some of the best tasting cuisine in the world. They can do a lot with a tapa, and they are really not complicated to make. But I never make them for myself for some reason. So when I saw that there was a new tapas restaurant coming to town I was thrilled. And when I read the web site for this tapas restaurant, I read that they guaranteed the real deal...no more chips 'n dip called "tapas" like you find in so many restaurants these days. Ay caramba, I was going to have some tapas!!

I had visions of Madrid, of the jamon serrano hanging from the ceiling, or of the manchego being cut from huge rounds. I even had visions of my favorite States-side tapas restaurant: Café Babareeba in Chicago. I couldn't wait to experience that joy in my hometown.

So, my husband and I got a sitter (at $8/hour you want to have a GOOD meal) and headed out to Seny. And it went downhill from there.

First, we were terribly early for our table, so we got a drink at the bar. What else but sangria? I couldn't wait for a good, authentic sangria. Ok, some problems here. The sangria was being tapped from a huge sangria pitcher. Well, when you tap sangria, you don't get the fruit. And sangria served without fruit is like Sonny without Cher, Gladys Knight without her Pips, etc. Something was terribly missing, there was no va va va voom. The sangria tasted like red wine and seltzer water. It was refreshing, but there was a kick missing, a fruitiness, a sweetness, something was just not there. I asked the very accomodating bartender for some fruit, and he gave me a plateful, which I immediately squeezed into my drink. Thank goodness for nice bartenders, they keep the customers happy.

Once we were seated, we took a look at the menu, which was fairly limited for a tapas place (again, I am partial to Café Babareeba or Café Iberico in Chicago, who have enormous menus). The menu was split in four groups: Cold tapas, warm tapas, traditional tapas, and main dishes. The cold and warm tapas were all fancy-schmancy small plates of food. They looked good, but nothing spoke to me like a traditional tapa. Looking at the list of traditional tapas, my mouth watered. I remembered reading on the Seny web site that they planned to serve REAL traditional food from Spain, no fooling around with the tried and true. And so we ordered. Our first round was Spanish Tortilla, Gambas al Aioli and a Spanish charcuterie plate.

The Spanish tortilla was served warm. WARM. OK PEOPLE, everyone knows that in Spain your Spanish tortilla is a cold tapa. It is served cold, always. The aioli they served it with was excellent, but the tortilla itself was without flavor, and it was WARM. I've never had a flavorless Spanish tortilla. I tried and tried but could not locate the flavor. Thank goodness for the aioli, which I schmeared all over my poor hot tortilla. When I asked the waiter "Why is this warm?", he said he didn't know, and ventured to guess it was a Cincinnati thing. Hmmmm....

On to the gambas (shrimp with garlic butter). They were excellent. The shrimp were perfectly well cooked and seasoned, and the garlic sauce was very flavorful. Points for gambas.

Charcuterie platter: this had chorizo, cured meat and jamon serrano on it. This was the best thing we ate during our dinner. It was also the only thing that wasn't prepared in the kitchen. Ay ay ay.

We were still hungry, so we got three more tapas: shrimp fritters with mint sauce, patatas bravas and ham and spinach croquetas.

Shrimp Fritters: this was on the fancy schmancy side of the menu, so I had nothing to compare it to in Spain or elsewhere. They were good, but nothing to get too excited about.

Patatas Bravas: (fried potatoes served with spicy aioli sauce) These were good, but I felt like I was eating breakfast home fries with aioli sauce. Patatas bravas are usually large wedges of potato, not little squares. The spicy aioli sauce was great though.

Croquetas: NOOOOOO! How can you destroy the staple of all Spanish Sunday dinners, the croqueta?? They made them with WAY too much beschemel sauce (I think it was beschemel) so that when you bit into one it just oozed white sauce. I didn't see any ham in my croquetas, and very little spinach. So I'm not quite sure what I was eating. Beschemel croquetas? They weren't very flavorful either, they needed something to accompany the sauce. How I yearned for a good chicken and ham croqueta at this point of my meal. Those are so yummy....

When asked if we wanted dessert, I jumped at it...obviously I do enjoy my desserts. The chocolate croquetas we asked for at first were sold out. So we asked for the "tapas desserts", which we understood would be a few different small versions of their desserts. I've had this at Babareeba and it's excellent (mini flan, mini rice pudding, etc.). We also asked for decafs.

The decafs came toute de suite. Too fast. I still had half a croqueta in my mouth and the waiter is giving me a decaf. No cream or sugar. I asked for both. I got the sugar immediately. I asked again for cream, I got a little pitcher of something...it wasn't cream. I poured it in my coffee...it was skim milk. Now, I realize this is a new restaurant and there are kinks and all...but cream? Come on, folks. I took a sip of the coffee....watery, flavorless, blech. Thank God they didn't charge us for it.

The desserts arrived. I kid you not when I describe them this way: Little Debbie meets Dunkin Donuts. DIOS MIO! I couldn't believe what I was eating and seeing. I should ask for a job making desserts there, because Deb and Dunkin' are just not getting the job done. There were four little cakes on a long, pretty dish. Two tasted EXACTLY like the Little Debbie strawberry snack cake. One was a chocolate "pastry" (aka Munchkin donut) covered in glaze (aka Munchkin donut glaze). It tasted like a Munchkin, to the "t'. I HATE a chocolate dessert that doesn't taste like chocolate. There was one cake on this plate that was worth the calories, it was an almond based cake with a hard sugar glaze. It was good. The rest...no me gusta, nada.

So, will I go back to Seny? Not sure...I want to believe they will work things out, locate the spice rack, give the food some flavor, refrigerate the tortillas, add fruit to the sangria glasses and hire a new pastry chef. If those things happen, and my husband and I find ourselves with $65 to spend on dinner (this was our bill), maybe I'll go back. Until then, I'm off to Honey!

"How'd You Do That?" Apple Pie

Ok, this is really Martha Stewart's Spiced Apple Pie from the November issue of her magazine. But if you make the fluted round cutouts instead of a traditional crust, everyone who sees it will shout "How'd you DO THAT?" It's like clockwork, every time. Anyway, to get this result is really not that hard...and it turns out so gorgeous.

(Note to self...buy a Martha Stewart Living subscription. I keep buying them at the grocery store check out, a huge rip off. Although worth every penny.)

So about my pie: I brought this for dessert at a friend's house, and paired it with the salted butter caramel ice cream (previous recipe). It was a great pairing. I baked the pie the day before, and we warmed it up during dinner at 350 for 15 minutes, which was perfect. It was a plate-licker.

The following day my husband and I reheated the few leftovers we had in the microwave. I don't suggest that technique, it destroys the flakiness of the crust. One must not destroy a Martha pie.

Keep in mind, this pie requires a lot of time. Not energy, but time. You spend a lot of time refrigerating things for one hour, and then an eternity in the oven. Don't do what I did and start when you are supposed to be meeting someone at the park with your children later...you will be held hostage at home by your pie. Be sure you have some free time.

So, here's the recipe...enjoy it!

Pâte Brisée:

2 3/4 cups all-purpose flour, chilled

1 1/2 teaspoons course salt

1 Tb. granulated sugar

2 1/4 sticks cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/2 inch pieces

7 - 10 Tb ice water (I used 8)

Pulse flour, salt and sugar in a food processor. Add butter nd pulse until you get course crumbs, about 10 seconds.

With food processor running, add ice water slowly in a steady stream, until dough holds together and is neither wet or sticky. About 30 seconds.

Divide dough into two portions, and shape each into a disk. Wrap in plastic and refrigerate for at least 1 hour or overnight. It can be frozen for up to one month, just thaw it in the refrigerator overnight before using.

To make the fluted piecrust:

You will need a fluted round cutter (1 3/4 inch or 2 1/2 inch)

Roll out one portion of the dough to 1/8 inch thick and fit it into the pie plate. Roll out the remaining dough to 1/8 inch thick and use a 1 3/4 inch fluted round cutter to cut out about 70 rounds, re-rolling the scraps. (I used a 2 1/2 inch cutter and made 40 rounds).

Place the filling in the pie plate, mounding it in the center. Lightly brush the edge of the crust with an egg wash of 1 Tb. heavy cream and 1 egg yolk.

Arrange the rounds around the perimeter (all the way to the edge) of the piecrust and on top of the filling, overlapping them slightly. Lightly brush the top of each round with egg wash as you work so they will adhere to one another.

Repeat the process, overlapping rounds in a spiral all the way to the center, until the pie is covered. Lightly brush the entire surface with egg was and sprinkly with fine sanding sugar. Refrigerate for one hour before baking.

Spiced Apple Pie:

Makes one 9 inch double-crust pie

Pâte Brisée (above recipe)

4 pounds Granny Smith apples

1 Tb finely grated lemon zest

2 tsp. fresh lemon juice

3/4 cup packed light brown sugar

1/4 cup granulated sugar

1/4 cup all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting

1 tsp. coarse salt

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

1 tsp. freshly grated nutmeg

3 Tb. cold unsalted butter cut into small pieces

Egg wash:

1 large egg yolk

1 Tb. heavy cream

Sanding sugar

On a lightly floured work surface, roll 1 disk of dough to 1/8 inch thick. Fit into a 9 inch deep dish pie plate. Trim edges flush with rim, refrigerate for one hour.

Roll remaining disk of dough to 1/8 inch thick. Cut out 70 rounds with a 1 3/4 inch fluted round cutter. Place rounds on a parchment-lined baking sheet and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

Peel and core apples. Thinly slice half of them, cut remaining apples into 1 inch pieces.

Toss together the apples, lemon zest and juice, sugars, flour, salt, cinnamon and nutmeg in a large bowl. Place filling in the piecrust, mounding in the center. Dot with butter. To make the egg wash, whish the egg yolk and cream in a small bowl. Lightly brush the edge of the piecrust with the egg wash. Arrange the dough rounds over the filling, working in a spiral from the outside in to the center, overlapping as you go. Use the egg was to help them stick together. Once the filling has been covered, brush the entire top of pie with egg wash and sprinkle the top with sanding sugar. Refrigerate pie for 1 hour.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F., with racks in the middle and lower positions. Place a foil-lined baking sheet on the lower rack to catch any juices. Place the pie on the middle rack and bake until the crust begins to turn golden brown, about 25 minutes. Reduce the oven temperature to 375 and bake until the crust is golden brown and juices are bubbling, about 1 hour 10 minutes (I did 45 minutes and it was done, my oven runs hotter I think). Tent with foil if the crust browns too quickly. Let cool completely on a wire rack.

Salted Butter Caramel Ice Cream

Ever since I purchased my second-hand Cuisinart Ice Cream machine for $10 the other week, I have been perusing various ice cream recipes looking for one to hit the spot. Those that keep coming back to me are David Lebovitz's...probably because he wrote an entire book devoted just to ice cream, The Perfect Scoop, and probably because he has the best ice cream recipes around.

So, I had made a bunch of salted butter caramel macarons (post to come soon), and I had so much caramel and so many egg yolks left over I thought I would make an attempt at the salted butter caramel ice cream from the book. Keep in mind, until now the only place I had ever eaten this flavor of ice cream was in Paris, at the famed Berthillon. And boooooooy is it good. Sinful. Decadent. Impossibly good.

So, off I went to my mini ice cream maker and my ingredients, and I actually created salted butter caramel ice cream from scratch. Not only that, but it was EASY. Bien sûr, it may not have been as good as Berthillon's (I think I went too heavy on the salt in my hard caramel), but it was delish nevertheless. I served it with homemade deep dish apple pie (post to come soon) and folks swooned. The mixture of sweet and salty is just perfect. My two year old licked his bowl clean. But two year olds do that, so maybe it wasn't the compliment that I took it as. I'll take what I can get.

My advice: 1) Don't eat this ice cream immediately. The pieces of crunchy caramel have to soften up before you dig in, otherwise you'll be digging them out of your teeth all night. Wait overnight and watch how they soften and ooze. It's yuuuummmy.

2) Be patient while making your caramel. Don't stir too much. Just relax.

3) Use good course sea salt (sel de mer). Not table salt. Trader Joe's sells course sea salt for rock bottom prices.

Trader Joe's Frozen Chocolate Croissants

Ahhhh, le pain au chocolat. Once you've had a "chocolate croissant" or "pain au chocolat" in France, it's so hard to find a good one elsewhere. You immediately become a croissant snob. Le snobisme du croissant. What's wrong with foreign croissants? Too often, they are either bready, or dry, or use too little chocolate or the wrong kind of chocolate, I could go on. I've been more than disappointed with the pain au chocolat I've found in the U.S. The absolute worst are the ones with chocolate sauce or caramel sauce drizzled on top. Blasphemy!

So, I was in the Trader Joe's frozen food section the other day, gazing lovingly upon their vast array of frozen treats. It seems as though every week they have something new, and very often it is French. (Their French apple tart is fantastique, by the way.) So last time I saw something I had never seen before. There between the puff pastry and the pie crust (both are also new from what I know) was a tiny little box of joy...chocolate croissants. Boy, did they look good on the box. But I know how that goes...nothing ever turns out as good as it does on the box.

So I bought them, took them out of the freezer last night before bed (they have to rise for 9 hours from frozen) and we had them this morning with coffee. Let me tell you....no longer do I have to make the trip to my favorite French café for my "pain au chocolat"...(Greenup Café in Covington, Kentucky if you must know)...these will do JUST FINE. They are light, they are a touch crisp on the outside, the chocolate is high quality and there are TWO BARS of chocolate! They are buttery and divine. I highly recommend these for anyone who has a craving for an authentic chocolate croissant, you won't be disappointed.

Oh, and when in France, please ask for a "Pain au chocolat" (literally "bread with chocolate"), not a "chocolate croissant". The latter is an anglophone invention and doesn't work in French!